So, I went to church today…..

My old mentor was visiting from interstate and speaking at the church I used to pastor, under his leadership, so I thought I’d face my feelings of failure and head down there to see how it would be. This week I met with my psych and discussed the feelings of failure and being a loser and the fact that going to church brings all those up for me. It reminds me of my uselessness. It was a great discussion and I’ll shed some light one what we talked about later. I decided to journal throughout the service, and I’ve decided to leave it un-edited. So it’s a bit of a scramble, but it’s how it came out. Maybe it’s more questions than ideas!

All up I had a good time. I endured the preamble propaganda and I had some great conversations after the service, which is what made it for me. Some people really do care about me I guess and were glad to see me…. Here goes:

Sunday is a celebration of the resurrection. It can be an exciting, vibrant uplifting thought provoking event.
Essentially a party, a shindig. There’s a band, a speech at a party. It should glorify god. Should b encouraging. Open to all.
It’s not church but the church is there

Leaders should seek to facilitate a connection and an experience with god and not get in the way and not be the centrepiece and freakingwell relax. How much help does god need? What if we just got people together and god turned up, what could we add?

What does the bible mean by preaching? Interesting that public speaking was one of the day’s most popular form of entertainment…. But we don’t feed people to lions anymore so do we need to preach? Besides it looks like mainly the apostles preached. Was timothy an apostle? Was paul saying for timothy to harness one of the most popular pasttimes to communicate god’s ideas or the person of jesus?

Owning buildings is not a problem it’s raising the money for them that creates the problem. The focus of the leader becomes compromised.

It has to b a party that is also authentic. So it needs to acknowledge pain and injustice.
It can’t be glib or superficial and no propoganda.

18-30’s r gone. Most under represented age group because they smell inauthenticity and have a very sensitive BS meter. How do we get the young adults back? Ask them?

Testimony and story is important. Corporate prayer

Minimal agenda.

Passivity is an issue. Pple just sit or stand.

Love the idea of contemplation and meditation.
Why isn’t there any silence? Because we’re afraid.

If sunday is a worship service what forms of worship can we incorporate? It can’t b a free for all tho.

The form of the service should reflect the culture of the people celebrating for it to be authentic. Which is why copycat doesn’t work.

Bottom line; if i walked out of an event knowing that god had spoken or touched me personally, that would be enough. everything else would be superfluous.

Why do we have to try and jam so much into 90 mins? We does it have to be efficient and productive? Why can’t we waste time in god’s presence? Probably because we don’t want to lose people. Which only matters if we face budget pressure or the tyranny of ego, or failure to meet misguided success of numbers. The idea that the more people who come the better something is may be a fallacy. Lots of people have come to cults….


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