I’m still not functioning at my best

Over the last few days i’ve been thinking about a few things relating to wellness if you like. Kinda a collection of random thoughts…

One thought related to something another senior pastor and I dialogued recently about on Facebook regarding depression. He asked what the difference is between feeling down and depression and also suggested that God takes us through suffering so it is natural for a Christian to have “down moments”. My reply to that was to point out that although he’s right (suffering does build our character and our emotions track accordingly), depression is actually a medical, diagnosable condition with key indicators. I cut and pasted these

I haven’t been great emotionally lately either. I’ve discovered that I really am an introvert – I mean really introverted, from an energy perspective. I really need a significant quantity of time alone. If I don’t get it, I simply get depleted and my emotions fray. Since my wife has been overseas for the last two weeks, I’ve had two small kids talking to me and incessantly asking “why”. I haven’t handled that well. I just don’t want to be around them… and that’s not great for a dad to be feeling.

I’ve also been struggling to find motivation for anything. Struggling to initiate anything… don’t want to go out, don’t want to do anything but mindless things like TV and facebook. Just can’t seem to face the things that I actually want to do. Then all the things I want/need to do seems to pile up and I get frustrated and a sense of overload because they’re not getting done….

Today I remembered what anxiety was like. Not sure if I described it on this site…. my memory is a bit shot and the mind is not as sharp as it used to be (please tell me if I keep repeating myself). It was a sense of foreboding, a feeling of impending disaster. It’s the feeling you have right before an exam, a job or performance interview, an important presentation. It’s a nervous dread. It seems to make adrenaline surge all the time even though there’s no danger. I wonder what that does to one’s body over a long period…

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